Holding Pattern

I’m in a holding pattern. I’ve been in a holding pattern for a long time now, and I’m running on fumes. Today, I told my therapist that I wanted to die. This is how trapped I feel inside myself. And I am beginning to realise that the reason my progress is arrested, the reason that … Continue reading Holding Pattern


Jesus Christ

Like a lot of anxious people, my deepest fear is being out of control – of being possessed, in other words, by insubordinate forces. Sometimes these forces are other people; sometimes they are money worries or a physical illness; and sometimes it is something inside me, my own mind, that blows me about like a … Continue reading Jesus Christ


Turning and turning in the widening gyre The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned (Yeats, The Second Coming) The relationship between our thoughts and the centre of our consciousness, … Continue reading Usurper